Confidence Manifesto For Every Woman — By Oluwasindara

I was standing outside my compound, feeling pretty fantastic and waiting for a cab when a 62year old lady( I just guessed from her appearance tho, not like I knew her from anywhere, Lol) with purple bifocals, a matching muumu, Einstein’s perm, and sensible black sneakers stopped and said to me “Oh Lord, those heels! Your feet must be throbbing! Who are you wearing them for? Dress for you baby girl. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks”.
I guffawed like she was just the most adorable and hilarious stranger to ever offer advice. My 6inch Christian Louboutins ankle booties are an undeniable win. But really, who was I wearing them for? I suppose I wear them because I believe myself incomplete, disproportionate, and squat without them. I am actually just 5feet, and I have always loved height.

I mean I always admire people who are tall and I feel almost incomplete without my heels wherever I go. And did I mention that almost everybody in my office is 5’9ft and above?. Even my own sister is 6feet2. And on a day when I need to feel my best, I wear my 6inch heels, I mean I just wear normal 4inch heels on a regular basis.
But now I wondered if this attachment to the physical was somehow terribly unenlightened of me. Was I yanking the evolution of female sexual empowerment back to the age of foot binding?
I gave it done thought and replied the woman, “They make me feel powerful”.
We are at our sexiest when we feel the most confident.
We are at our least attractive when we are sure of our inadequacies and practically cave in on ourselves to conceal them. No matter how incredible your lover swears you look, there is no way you’re getting hot and bothered when you feel fatter than that hot secretary in his office. We all handicap ourselves with insecurity, and its up to us to reset the self-worth scale and alter the message we send out into the world.
Nollywood. There’s nothing like the spotlight to bring out the quivering little insecure self you thought you ditched in high school. BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AN ACTRESS TO ENDURE NEGATIVE ATTENTION.
Thanks to the internet, there now exist forums for the public to declare their locker-room judgments without the risk of getting busted.
I have been declared too dark and too lightskinned on the same day from the same photo. “Why the f** do u look so dark, did your Valencia filter fail you. Hahaha”, “Jesus girl you bleaching or wah? U look way too lighter than the last time I saw you at the mall”.
It is pathetic to even have read these things but before you learn the hard way, it is nearly impossible not to check out what’s scrawled about you on the bathroom mirrors. But if I let this nonsense creep into my psyche, I’ll be ruined by it.

So how exactly do we remind ourselves of our fabulousness without letting our self-doubt or the criticism of others drag us down? TRIGGERS. We do whatever it is we need to do to feel beautiful in our own bodies.
Confidence is a state of mind, but some times we need to give ourselves permission to realize it.
Of course, the goal is to go beyond the physical, to find a way to make peace with our own inner person.
Laughing makes us happy. Its good to conjure up confidence and embrace whatever tools that allows us to get there. AS LONG AS WE ARE AWARE OF THE FACT THAT WE ARE WORTH THE SAME WITH OR WITHOUT THESE TOOLS.
I think that woman on the street was an apparition, a projection of my subconscious, warning me of the danger of superficiality.
But either ways, I feel beautiful in boots, sneakers, heels whatever it is. The heels is just a CONFIDENCE TRIGGER anyways and if I don’t feel comfortable enough in it, I wouldn’t be wearing it in the first place.
So she was wrong, I was actually wearing them for myself, because I feel comfortable in them.
>>>>>>TO be continued…




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